Some of the most common questions Lola is asked.
When you hear the word ‘doula’, you are likely to think of birth coach. However a death doula is specially trained to help with dying. Continuity of presence before and after death is the key value that differentiates a death doula from a traditional funeral director. A death doula will assist a dying individual and their family, before, during and after death, with a holistic, hands-on, non-medical approach to the fundamentally natural process of dying.
A death doula may assist a family in performing various post-death functions typically performed by funeral directors, such as washing and dressing the body; conducting a wake/viewing of the body; assisting the family in arranging the funeral/interment services; accessing and filling out necessary paperwork; as well as providing
Lola offers a range of respite services to help families best manage the challenges associated with caring for a dying family member. Lola can provide day, evening and overnight respite support, and with prior arrangement, can be on-call for families in need.
Lola will care for your loved one with respect, kindness and dignity.
Every family is unique, as is every terminal diagnosis – there is no one-size-fits-all approach. As such, Lola encourages families to engage with her counselling services in order to help determine the best way to navigate through this most difficult of times.
In order to develop the resilience, empathy and strength required to maneuver through life’s challenges, it’s essential that a child’s first experience with death be as gentle and positive as possible whilst confronting the reality of this inevitable life experience.
Lola will equip you with strategies that will help to nurture and guide your children through this period of grief, sadness and loss.
Just like children have unique needs when it comes to grief and loss, so do men and women.
Lola encourages each family member to engage with her counselling services both independently, and as a family unit. Lola will help the individuals to figure out how they grieve and identify individual strategies to best manage through this period, whilst supporting the family group as a whole to remain united.
Yes, it is legal to keep the body at home for up to 5 days post-death. Lola can provide a cooling plate for the body to rest upon, which will keep the body cool. Lola will assist your family to provide natural after-death care – washing, oiling, dressing and preparing for the home vigil.
At-home vigils are commonplace throughout many parts of Europe, and are becoming more normalized in Australia. Many families attest to the healing benefits of keeping their loved one at home in the immediate days after their passing, for their funeral and until their burial or cremation. There are few cases of ‘complicated’ grief following home vigil.
Absolutely! Whilst every family is unique, Lola believes that in order to best help children adjust to the passing of their loved one, it is important for them to play a role in both the funeral preparations and service itself.
Children will often help to decorate the coffin with flowers, ribbons, drawings, photos and special momentous. They might also read a special story during the service, play an instrument or sing a special song.
Children are amazingly resilient, and in Lola’s experience, take great pride in their special and meaningful role in funeral and end-of-life celebrations.
Lola has diverse and unique experiences in delivering end-of-life support and funeral services across a range of cultures.
Lola has performed funerals for Aboriginal communities in remote locations, coordinating multi-day services and celebrations that have involved singing, dancing and poetry reading around campfires.
Lola herself is of Dutch heritage. In the Netherlands, openness to death and dying are culturally ingrained. Home vigil practices are also a much normalized part of dying.